The Privy Sage
The Privy Sage Podcast
Joy is Power. Why heavy missions, exhausting leadership & mystery money can kiss my a$$.
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Joy is Power. Why heavy missions, exhausting leadership & mystery money can kiss my a$$.

There was a time when I thought I had it all (at least in the 3D sense of the word)...

  • A brand new car

  • Engaged to a man I adored

  • A job that paid me well, promoted me multiple times, and rewarded me with nice commission checks

  • My business taking gaining momentum

And I remember feeling good. Like, really good.
Like Pollyanna good.
Like, how do people let themselves feel so bad good.

I remember asking myself that exact question one day while driving home from work.

The success was real.
The alignment was real.
The energy was real.

And then?

I slowly watched it all fall apart.

❌ My car was repossessed.
❌ My engagement crumbled, turned ugly, and eventually ended.
❌ My job became restrictive and unbearable, so I left.
❌ My business felt like an uphill battle I couldn’t win.

But the worst part?

I felt like I was going to die.
Not figuratively. Not in some dramatic way.

I literally thought I was going to have an aneurysm and die.
I feared it every single day.

And that’s when I broke.

Because suddenly, it wasn’t just the fear of losing success.

It was the fear that I had lost myself.

And I remember this time in my life so vividly because it was the exact point where my subconscious reinforced the belief that joy wasn’t safe.

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